Goats: A game for all the family

You can file this under Cornwell family stupidity that no one else will want to understand.

When Esme was smaller, I used to take her to Vauxhall City Farm, where urban children go if they want to see a real pig. Mummy, what kind of car is that? It has a snout, and legs. Where does the petrol go? I love the Vauxhall farm: it has a rabbit that looks like Dave Lee Travis. It has goats, too, and they are the point of this.

On one visit, I noticed a theme of goat behaviour that emerges when they have something to climb on.

When goats are given a pile of rocks, they climb it. It is very important, for goaty self-esteem, to climb to the highest point on the rocks. But! There doesn't seem to be one dominant goat that is ALWAYS at the top of the rocks. They take it in turns, each remaining at the top of the rocks and going BAAAAAA until another butts it off.

Ian and I have adopted this as a parlour game, and we play it in the house for want of something more sensible to do.

Anyone can start, by climbing onto the coffee-table, holding their index fingers either side of their forehead as little stubby horns, and declaring, "BAAAAAAA."

Player 2 then accepts the challenge by climbing onto a higher piece of furniture, and responding: "BAAAAAAA." The game continues until one fully grown mature adult, pretending his/her fingers are little stubby horns, is standing on the back of the sofa, giggling and going "BAAAAAAA," while another fully grown mature adult butts it to the point of falling off.

During the week, Ian goes off to his important grown-up managerial job in the City, and it is a delight to exchange emails with a Head of Development that contain sign-offs such as:

BAAAAAAAA

I am standing higher than you

I am climbing to a higher vantage point BAAAAAAAAA

Anyway. You can try this at home, or you can smile politely and walk in the general direction of away.

Baaaaaaaa.