Friday, July 17, 2009
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About Me
- Antonia Cornwell
- Facking London, United Kingdom
- I have a heart of gold and a wrong sense of humour. I live with my moustachioed lover, Ian, and our little daughter Esme, both of whom own real lederhosen. I often go back to old posts and rewrite bits of them. Sorry about that.
Find things on Whoopee
- BAD SEX WRITING (2)
- CASTLE BLOWHARD (2)
- CHRISTMAS CARD 2008 (1)
- ESME (56)
- FAVOURITES (35)
- I LOVE IAN THIS MUCH (44)
- ILLUSTRATED (22)
- MEMES (6)
- NO ONE GETS MY JOKES (3)
- PHOTO STORIES (3)
- POEMS AND THAT (7)
- PREGNANCY (16)
- SEX AID REVIEWS (1)
- SHUT UP ABOUT YOUR CATS (16)
- THINGS TO MAKE AND DO (12)
- URRGH (1)
- WORD OF THE DAY (5)
- WTF FOOD (3)
Links
- Little People of London
- Awful Library Books
- Not Always Right
- South Park cartoons
- LET'S PANIC!
- Emails From an Asshole
- St. Custard's
- Awkward Family Photos
- Postcards From Yo Momma
- Garfield minus Garfield
- Entrances to Hell in the UK
- Kate Beaton Comics
- East Cheam Ivy
- News Biscuit
- CAAAT TOOOOWN
- Icelandic traffic webcams
BLING!
Hot Sweaty Linky Love
- Alice at Finslippy
- All of Lori's one times
- Ann's Desktop Confessional
- Barbara's Inkstains
- Being an Asshole is All She Has Left
- Bill's Exurbitude
- Bob's Greens & Cornbread
- Daisy, still Teetering
- Danielle's Knotty Yarn
- Danny Going Mad
- De's Sober Briquette
- Disappointed of West Egg
- Emma and her Headache
- Emma's Belgian Waffle
- Gallery of the Absurd
- Go Fug Yourself
- Jack's Raging Mommy
- Jen's Honest Planet
- Jennifer, God of Small Things
- Jenny, the Bloggess
- Joy the Ginga
- Lisa at Barlyru
- Liv's Madness
- Lynda's Whirlwind
- Melissa at Suburban Bliss
- Meno and her Blog
- Michele's General Din
- Mighty Maggie
- Mrs Kennedy at Fussy...
- ...and at yogabeans
- OMG, Jackson has a blog
- Patrick Bad News Hughes
- Rowan's Stuff & Nonsense
- Sarah Balls, I mean Brown
- Sarah's Dusty Dreams
- The Domesticated Shithead
- The Glittering Kevin Charnas
- The One & Only Heather
- Urban Cowgirl, now Down Under!
- Urban Urchin
- Zan's Cup of Tea
And these are my mates. Go and drop by their blogs for tea.
Frog of the Day
Google searches for this site: a window into strangers' brains
- shriveled testicles pics
- nylon lover pants winter
- alice farts
- MY CAT IS LEAKING MY FINGERS
- fancy-dress succubus
- regular cameltoe
- gymnastic camel toes
- smack that bloody ferret
- swiss ball porn
- badly stuffed weasel
- ian tits
- crochet pattern genitals
- lemons used as boobies
- naked swedes
- ferret legging, photos
- gaviscon and dogs
- posh in tights
- 80s ski suit gallery
- wicker moosehead
- smack the frog
- who lives in a cave
- σαλιγκαριών
- smack the pony thong
- things made from nylon
38 comments:
Your ceiling trim work is gorgeous...can I ask if Esme was eating chips? maybe? Okay, translate tits...
Bought a new pillow the other night, brought it in and sat it on the counter...this huge moth had hopped a ride into the house and just stayed there forever. I finally slung it out the door.
Do NOT get me started on fucking moths. Ok, too late, I've started, tune out for a couple of lines. Ours are so fucking stupid that when I swat at them in a rage they fly LOWER AND LOWER AND SLOWER AND SLOWER, to a point where they are flying so slowly about 10 cm off the ground that I - the world's least athletic human being - can STAMP on them.
Then they get their revenge by laying their repulsive larvae on the ceiling. Bastards.
You can tune back in now to see me say I LOVED this. Our moths' people should talk to your moths' people. I am sure we could collaborate on a project of epic stupidity.
Esme is a chip off the old block when it comes to swearing. We're trying to persuade her she mishears us and ought to be saying shucks, but I'm not sure she believes us.
I bet you get some amazing moths where you are. We just get small, brown, stupid ones that talk like total blowhards.
Emma: I have visions of a travelling caravan; bouzouki music; hoops of fire; dead moths. But then, I usually do.
replace the moths with cats and you'll have pictures of our house.
(except they don't get on our tits (well, actually, they do) they get on our nerves, occasionally.)
I'm beginning to think the Deep South doesn't have the expression getting on my tits for annoying me. Y'all are missing out.
*shudder*
Moths are pure, concentrated Evil and they will suck your brains out of your ears while you sleep.
True story.
(Not the little ones that eat your clothes, just the big heavy furry-bodied ones that make repulsive muffled thump-y noises when they bang into windows and lampshades and things and oh my fucking god I feel ill just writing that -- I hate moths, and they terrify me.)
Nope, thats a new one. I like it, it's slicker than cat shit on a hot tin roof.
And bound to stick just as well.
Yay!! I've missed you. Get those moths off her tits, will ya?
Little fuckers ate into a sweater I knitted for my baby. I am as anti-moth as a girl can get. At our house, we suck them up with a shop-vac and you really can suck them out of the air when they are low flying slothful moths, as Emma has at her house.
We don't say "you are getting on my tits." If I did, it would be because breastfeeding has made them so large the entire town could get on my tits and have room for a shop vac and a couple of moth chasing bloggers.
There's an evening ritual in my house of Dad leaping around the house hunting the bad moths that live in and eat the carpet and furniture. He defeats them with an electric fly swat and some cursing.
We have one of those. Looks like a small tennis racquet: we call it the Bat O' Death. I used to get some really satisfying forehand smashes out of it against big fat bluebottles, but now I have to wrestle it away from Esme who insists it's a guitar.
'freezing my tits off' is used often around these canadian wintry frigid parts, but i have yet to work in 'getting on my tits' and i am perplexed as to why not!
and as disgusting as the old moths are, at least they are dumb and easy enough to rid your house of. mosquitos, on the other hand, are not as innoculous and must craftier than those damn moths - i'll take the moths over the squeetos anyday...
Do they keep mosquitos down?! I never knew that. I actually like moths, even more so now I know that. Although ours are probaly as crap at catching mosquitos as they are at blending in.
My cats chase them round the house until they catch and eat them! Yum!
They really get on my tits, too. So do the mammoth black flies buzzing around my skylight. Hate them. I leave the window open to LET THEM OUT! Doesn't everyone?
love the new shower curtain.
hughes
You think those are /moths/?
*goes to see if wife has put up photos on Flickr*
Please hold, caller...
*berates wife*
OK, try now >>> Moth
It would be worse, I suppose, if they were cunning. Imagine if they were hanging out in your hair, where they would actually blend in.
We periodically get awful, horrible pantry moths -- do these exist on the other side of the Atlantic? Little bitty things that infest the flour and then flutter around the house and drive us stark raving mad. You can clap them between your hands and they turn to dust, which is novel at first but fails to sustain interest over the course of the entire infestation.
HAHAHAHA!! I thought you Britons were supposed to have the clever and rapidly changing pepper moths who expertly camouflaged themselves to the trees and whatnot. Apparently these guys were behind the door when the clever was handed out.
Oh, what a nice surprise tonight. I hadn't been checking your blog, since you were on sabbatical and all. It would just lead to disappointment. What a relief tonight to find you have moths, and slugs! Whoopee!
Redfox: Yes, we get those. Over here they're called silverfish. Because of the way they swim around the pantry, breathing underwater through gills.
And have underwater weapons.
*tumbleweed*
Ooh, Fourstar's moth was very pretty! What the hell is that thing supposed to blend in with, though? Zebras?
Month 4
By the end of this month, the fetus is eight to ten inches in length and weighs a half pound or more. The mother will probably start to "show" now. The ears are functioning, and there is evidence that the fetus hears quite a bit: the mother's voice and heartbeat as well as external noises. The umbilical cord has become an engineering marvel, transporting 300 quarts of fluids per day and completing a round-trip of fluids every 30 seconds.
I am your personal updater. Time to start fishing out the ole streach pants.
You're a little bit ahead of me. I'm only 8 weeks pregnant today. Definitely time to fish out a more substantial bra, though. Oh how I hate having boobs.
But my ears are definitely functioning: they got that bit right.
your moths are kinda cute
(if annoying)....then again after 2 years of giant flying cockroaches anything smaller than my head seems cute and dainty!
love your comics, as always!
I has you answer, Antonia... The BUG VACUUM. http://www.amazon.com/Lentek-BV01G-Bug-Vacuum/dp/B000AMVOWQ
Do I get a gold star? Or did I merely climb on your bosoms?
I was just too excited and thought you were 13 weeks instead of waiting for the 13 week mark. I hang my head in shame for not paying attention..sorry...here is the current standing:
Week 8
At a little more than an inch long, the developing life is now called a fetus - Latin for "young one" or "offspring". Everythingis now present that will be found in a fully developed adult. The heart has been beating for more than a month, the stomach produces digestive juices and the kidneys have begun to function. Forty muscle sets begin to operate in conjunction with the nervous system. The fetus' body responds to touch, although the mother will not be able to feel movement until the fourth or fifth month.
total ninja? total ninja?
bah! I'll show that moth... I could kill it with a single thought even though I could kill it with a tray if I so wished...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sv5iEK-IEzw
lovely to have you back around 'ere but what's all this foetus talk? ;P
I think the mother of all those moths may have visited me a few years ago. http://i108.photobucket.com/albums/n1/tazthepenguin/IMG_2586.jpg?t=1248032861
Even the cats found it a bit offputting and normally they'd have been running around looking up at it and squeaking and then eventually eating it.
like your new barnet, btw! :)
Something worth considering for the home decor:
http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=180386432755&ssPageName=STRK:MESELX:IT#ht_500wt_1182
so glad you're back.
test
Awwww, you never said there would be a test this morning. I haven't started reading the book yet.
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