Me: Here we are! Here are the sharks!
Esme: Shaaaaarks!
Me (being the dull fuckwit you always get stuck next to at public attractions) Aren't they big! Look at that one!
Esme: Really big!
Me: Here comes another one!
Esme: That shark's got BIIIIIG tits!
Me: What?
Esme: That shark! It's got big tits!Me: Big tits?
Esme: No, big TITS.
Me: Big teeth?
Esme: Yes.
Me: Oh, right. Thank God.The small crowd that has casually gathered behind us drifts quietly away, its hopes dashed. The elusive Shark With Big Tits still roams the open seas, free of the underwiring of captivity.
JACQUES I DO NOT KNOW NOW GO AND BRUSH YOUR TEETH THEY ARE BROWN*Fade to choral/piano/tubular bell music of the ocean*
21 comments:
Snork. This made me laugh inappropriately on an overlong, highly technical conference call. Thank you, Antonia. Thank you, Esme. Thank you, shark with the bodacious nungers.
Shark! Shark! SHAAAAAARRK SHARK SHARK!
SIMULTANEOUS BLOG COMMENTING DON'T CROSS THE STREAMS EGON
the illustrations truly give this post the visual it needed. -snort-
Perky, despite their size!
I now have a vision of Jacques Cousteau, brushing his tits.
Not a sentence I ever thought I'd write, but there you go.
Yes, the water keeps them buoyant. Apparently.
As if "Moby Dick" wasn't bad enough...
For some reason, I am now picturing a shark with gigantic floppy bosoms roaming the seas, knocking prey out with her (it's?) tits. Da da... da da... da da da da da da da da da BOOB SLAP!
I wonder if plankton gets caught in its big cleavage?
Perhaps that's just me...
LOVE your blog! Still wandering around with my head in the air saying "I miss the sea!" to my husband! This one's a cracker too.
If I were a shark with Big Tits, I'd keep them strapped down so they didn't get damaged in some misdirected feeding frenzy. Ouch
Now thanks. I just woke my kiddo up by laughing too loud. The illustration really brings the point home. =)
whatever you do, keep this under wraps and don't let mr. hirst see it... otherwise, god knows what the saatchi may be showing soon!
Antonia, this is totally unrelated to this very funny post, but I was just looking back over some of my own old blog posts and found this link..... I thought you might like to buy this set of alphabet blocks for Esme: http://peer-see.com/blog/chumble-spuzz/2006/07/09/
(... she's so adorable, and I'd love to see her correctly identifying a darning needle simply by noting the colour of its wings. Don't get me started on the broken egg .... )
I've laughed out loud. Thank you
That was certainly fun for the people behind you. I told my kittens what Esme said and they said "We too have big tits".
That would explain their uncanny buoyancy, I suppose...
oh, funny....thanks for the laughs
Laughing, laughing, laughing out loud. Enough that husband looks, looks again and finally asks. I HEART big tit sharks.
you just made me snort beer out of my nose! Esme is brilliant x
Darn. And here today I thought that construction worker was noticing my chest and not my overbite. ;-)
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