Hey Guys Let's Watch Antonia Cornwell Sitting in an Armchair for 30 Minutes

Well, I had a really bloody good weekend. It was just a home-front weekend, nothing exotic, but it was one of those good home weekends where shit gets done, old things are replaced with new and life feels happier, and there are about five blog posts in there somewhere that I'll probably never write because I'm sort of working out how to avoid them sounding like boring lists of what we did next.

Anyway! While I'm thinking about that, here's a meme I was tagged for by Keith.

This is that meme where you're meant to choose a band, and answer every question with the name of one of their songs.

I'm tweaking this meme. I'm going to answer the questions, but I'm not doing the band thing. I'm just going to answer them straight up. Because I could spend ages finding a band that had song titles that made funny or clever answers to all these questions, but all you'd have to read here today would be a list of questions and a list of song titles and I don't know about you, but I'd far rather read people's honest answers.

So anyway,

1. Are you a male or female: Female who owns more false moustaches than handbags.

2. Describe yourself: Small. Quiet. Creative. Grumpy. Kind to small creatures. Impatient as fuck with human beings.

3. How do you feel about yourself: Happy in my own company. Never bored on my own. Immensely critical of my abilities. Too quiet around other people. I wish I were a better parent.

4. Describe your parents: Fucking amazing. Not on speaking terms. Funny. Good-looking. Interrupt me and talk over me when I'm speaking. Wonderful stage presences. Impossibly hard acts to follow. One an incredible musician, the other a world-famous author nicknamed 'Britain's Storyteller'. Both a thousand times more capable and passionately driven than I will ever be. This question is making me cry so I'll move on to the next one.

5. Describe your ex boyfriend/girlfriends: Tall, dark and handsome, with irritating habits.

6. Describe your current boy/girl situation: Tall, dark and handsome, with less irritating habits.

7. Describe your current location: Perched on the edge of a 1970s olive corduroy Arne Jacobsen egg chair that is mostly occupied by the large striped cat behind me, London SW9.

8. Describe where you want to be: Sitting more comfortably in a 1970s olive corduroy Arne Jacobsen egg chair with a large striped cat on my lap, London SW9. Driving through Alpine scenery. Watching the Northern Lights in Norway. In my shed with a cup of tea. Between crisp hotel sheets in Paris. Alone in Barcelona. On a scenic train to China. Driving all the way across America with my daughter when she's older. In a pub in Yorkshire. In English woodland in May. In a log cabin in Big Sur. Dancing on an earth floor in Brazil. Learning to ski. Learning to surf. Learning to fly a plane. In a New York cab. Reading in bed.

9. Your best friend(s) is/are: people I'd like to spend a long weekend in a country house with. (However, at the last minute, they'd announce they couldn't make it.) Clever. Hilarious. Interesting. Kind. Not afraid to be silly. Mostly from up north, genuinely down to earth, and willing to play me at 1. Scrabble or 2. Mah Jong.

10. Your favourite colour is: God, I don't know. Probably cocoa-brown.

11. You know that: I know that I've been trying to come up with something even slightly clever to answer this for two days, and nothing's happened.

12. If your life was a television show what would it be called: Hey Guys Let's Watch Antonia Cornwell Sitting In An Armchair For 30 Minutes

13. What is life to you: Something you only get to do once. Extraordinary. Too long. Too short. Boring. Amazing. Half full.

14. What is the best advice you have to give: Just get on with it.

Consider yourself tagged if you'd like to be. Oh! And let me know where to find your answers.