Esme: I need a penguin!
Us: Here are the penguins!
Esme: I need a tiger!
Us: Here's the tiger!
Esme: I need a monkeys!
Us: Here are the monkeys!
Esme: I need a pig!
Us: But you hate pigs. You're afraid of them.
Esme: I need a pig! Pig! I need a pig!
Us: Okay! Here are the pigs!
Esme: Don't want it.
About Me
- Antonia Cornwell
- Facking London, United Kingdom
- I have a heart of gold and a wrong sense of humour. I live with my moustachioed lover, Ian, and our little daughter Esme, both of whom own real lederhosen. I often go back to old posts and rewrite bits of them. Sorry about that.
Find things on Whoopee
- BAD SEX WRITING (2)
- CASTLE BLOWHARD (2)
- CHRISTMAS CARD 2008 (1)
- ESME (56)
- FAVOURITES (35)
- I LOVE IAN THIS MUCH (44)
- ILLUSTRATED (22)
- MEMES (6)
- NO ONE GETS MY JOKES (3)
- PHOTO STORIES (3)
- POEMS AND THAT (7)
- PREGNANCY (16)
- SEX AID REVIEWS (1)
- SHUT UP ABOUT YOUR CATS (16)
- THINGS TO MAKE AND DO (12)
- URRGH (1)
- WORD OF THE DAY (5)
- WTF FOOD (3)
Links
- Little People of London
- Awful Library Books
- Not Always Right
- South Park cartoons
- LET'S PANIC!
- Emails From an Asshole
- St. Custard's
- Awkward Family Photos
- Postcards From Yo Momma
- Garfield minus Garfield
- Entrances to Hell in the UK
- Kate Beaton Comics
- East Cheam Ivy
- News Biscuit
- CAAAT TOOOOWN
- Icelandic traffic webcams
BLING!
Hot Sweaty Linky Love
- Alice at Finslippy
- All of Lori's one times
- Ann's Desktop Confessional
- Barbara's Inkstains
- Being an Asshole is All She Has Left
- Bill's Exurbitude
- Bob's Greens & Cornbread
- Daisy, still Teetering
- Danielle's Knotty Yarn
- Danny Going Mad
- De's Sober Briquette
- Disappointed of West Egg
- Emma and her Headache
- Emma's Belgian Waffle
- Gallery of the Absurd
- Go Fug Yourself
- Jack's Raging Mommy
- Jen's Honest Planet
- Jennifer, God of Small Things
- Jenny, the Bloggess
- Joy the Ginga
- Lisa at Barlyru
- Liv's Madness
- Lynda's Whirlwind
- Melissa at Suburban Bliss
- Meno and her Blog
- Michele's General Din
- Mighty Maggie
- Mrs Kennedy at Fussy...
- ...and at yogabeans
- OMG, Jackson has a blog
- Patrick Bad News Hughes
- Rowan's Stuff & Nonsense
- Sarah Balls, I mean Brown
- Sarah's Dusty Dreams
- The Domesticated Shithead
- The Glittering Kevin Charnas
- The One & Only Heather
- Urban Cowgirl, now Down Under!
- Urban Urchin
- Zan's Cup of Tea
And these are my mates. Go and drop by their blogs for tea.
Frog of the Day
Google searches for this site: a window into strangers' brains
- shriveled testicles pics
- nylon lover pants winter
- alice farts
- MY CAT IS LEAKING MY FINGERS
- fancy-dress succubus
- regular cameltoe
- gymnastic camel toes
- smack that bloody ferret
- swiss ball porn
- badly stuffed weasel
- ian tits
- crochet pattern genitals
- lemons used as boobies
- naked swedes
- ferret legging, photos
- gaviscon and dogs
- posh in tights
- 80s ski suit gallery
- wicker moosehead
- smack the frog
- who lives in a cave
- σαλιγκαριών
- smack the pony thong
- things made from nylon
12 comments:
I've got hens and could find you sheep in variety should you meander through mid Wales....just asking.
Good thing Esme didn't decide to need a polar bear. Oh wait, you aren't in Germany.
Maybe she would like the card playing squirrels I have thoughtfully dedicated to you on my latest post? Ah, the zoo. Sob. Did that surly ass the tapir come out? Thought not.
Shoulder says no.
Forgive me, but this made me think of Lou and Andy from Little Britain. I promise to never compare the adorable Esme to Matt Lucas ever again.
Well, nothing like a bacon buttie to shake that fear off...
@April: You say that, but have we ever seen Esme and Matt Lucas in the same room? I think they're one and the same...
(Laughing about the Little Britain reference!)
Yes but no but yes but no but... those pigs are right out of order!
"Shoulder says no." I'm still snorking at that. Excellent!
What's the two things they tell you are healthiest to eat? Chicken and fish. You know what you should do? Combine them, eat a penguin.
I don't blame Esme for not wanting pigs. I've never wanted one in my life. But that cheeky little primate sure knows how to lead its parents on a merry dance!
... ah yes, those three little words that make that me want to gently lob my head against the nearest brick wall. Oh and my son has started with 'shoulder says no' as well; previously it was only his elbow talking.
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