In February this year, I had this idea for a Christmas card.
On Wednesday this week, I got my shit together, printed some out, and if you like, you can buy them.
These are home-produced cards. As such, each has its own character, by which I mean unique speck(s) of dust that sailed into the printer as the card was going through. Like this:
They're A6 (148 x 105mm), on high-gloss white 120gsm card, blank inside, and they come complete with white envelopes.
I actually have no idea who painted the original picture. Some of the Internet says this is 'The Adoration of the Shepherds' by Gerrit van Honthurst. However, if you type that into Google Images, a different picture comes up. But I spent all evening trying to find what this is if not 'The Adoration of the Shepherds', and I still don't know, so I've credited Gerrit van Honthurst on the back because I felt like I had to put something there. Imagine my joy when I found out that the more popular spelling is van Honthorst, with an O. After I'd printed them. So, wrong painter, wrong spelling. But look! I got my own name right.
If you'd like to buy a Christmas card, with bits of dust on it, attributed to the wrong painter with his name spelt wrong, here's a shiny Paypal button.
(Postage is included: you just have to choose whether you're in the UK, or overseas.)
Merry Christmas! Next week: Easter eggs.
23 comments:
Best. Christmas card. Ever. !!!
Ha! Had to have some. Hilarious.
We are amused.
Make some that say "Bah! Humbug!" on them, and i'm all over that.
You are hilarious! These are priceless!
You are VERY advanced.
I am coming back to buy some of these when my teeny paypal account is recharged by some fabulous items that I am flogging on ebay right now. (search "antique tennis trophy" and "antique golf trophy" and you can see for yourself - fingers crossed!). If I get paid, you get paid. Will you sign one for me when I finally round up the $$?
I hope these make you rich.
I feakin' love these. For reals.
Love it! Brilliant. I want one, although I feel I have to have my own kid in order to send it. My sister-in-law would otherwise read between the lines and take it as a stab...which it kind of would be actually...
Hmmm. Lemme think about that.
Excellent idea. There'd be even more money to be made with van Honthorst's "The Tooth Puller." Just the thing for those TWICE-yearly visits to the dentist!
Love the name...van Honthorst.
Gonna order. These are genius.
Hey, did you hear Terry Wogan referencing your Dad the other day? Wait, maybe you don't listen to Radio 2. And you know, I'm questioning why I do. Anyway, he said something to the effect of "Bernard Cornwell will be upset with you for calling him Patricia." He's a card, that Terry.
I missed that. Mind you, I often miss Terry. Our morning starts with Ken, because we're not very early risers.
I've got one foot in Radio 2 and one in Radio 4 at the moment. There are things I hate about each, i.e. the send-em-all-back Jeremy Vine Show on 2 and the bloody afternoon play on 4. It's not the play, it's the gaspy BBC Radio acting. Can't stand it.
Thank you to everyone who's ordered! They're nearly all gone. That was quick.
Would quite happily buy boatloads of these cards, if I didn't know without a doubt that my husband would go into apoplexy over spending roughly $45 US for ten Christmas cards... Mostly because I recently got downsized. Fucking George W. Bush.... But this card makes me laugh every time I see it, so that's something. Thanks, Antonia!
PS- I requested you as a friend on Facebook aeons ago (because I'm a dipshit/dork like that) and never received a reply- what's up?
Ha! At last you are making some moolah through your Gawd-given talents. Bonus.
And don't be rotten about the Radio 4 Afternoon Play. It's a little known fact that the afternoon play is running 24 hours a day, seven days a week in a studio at Broadcasting House. In the event of an emergency, they just switch straight over to it.
The ongoing script is constantly being written by a small cardboard box of hens on an old Amstrad. Off their heads on Sprite.
Look at you, being all industrious!
I can see you have put your Esme-free time to good use. Brava!
I love them. I will try to purchase next Friday..I cannot tap into my weekend pub money just yet. =)
I don't mean to hijack your comments but maybe you could sign this..please? and maybe your readers too?
http://www.thepetitionsite.com/1/HELP-SAVE-TAYLOR
Great card.
Maybe we could use these as invites since my fiance proposed to me with a gorgeous diamond engagement ring from www.idonowidont.com and we're getting married on Christmas.
I'l show my fiance your design, its great!
Totally giving these to my toy-store employees with their Christmas bonuses. I cannot tell you how many times a day we hear that phrase. As in, "Well, I don't know why you don't recommend this 540-piece Lego Bionicle for my 18-month-old grandson. He's very advanced."
Actually, you are right about the painting, it's by the Dutch artist Gerrit van Honthorst (usually referred to as "Honthorst" not "van Honthorst.")
It's in the Musee des Beaux-Arts in Nantes (France) and it can be called "The Nativity" or "The Adoration of the Shepherds." It was painted in the 2nd quarter of the 17th century.
(I teach art history.)
Antonia,
I thought of an absolutely terrible idea for a Christmas card...and cannot do it myself, or risk losing my job! HAHA! ...There's a thought...
I also just realized that if I shared it here...everyone will know. Shoot.
Will message it to you...
your card reminds me of this:
http://de.youtube.com/watch?v=JMpXK5sLXZ8&feature=channel
"he's a very unusual child. lot going on behind the eyes."
Are there any left? Please print more if not! I have a couple of über-smug mummy friends who absolutely need to be sent this card (though they probably won't get it...)
Give me a day or so, and I'll have my Christmas round-robin letter materclass ready to give you something to go inside your newly purchased cards.
Yes, it is an art. One which boils down to the following: Lie through your teeth.
Also a "materclass" is EXACTLY like a "masterclass", but with more women.
Card arrived and it looks better in person! Now, in a spectacular display of redundant postage, I shall mail it back across the Atlantic.
If the exchange rate sucked less, I'd be ordering a pack of twenty.
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