I give up. Maybe you can help. You're all bright people, and good parents, well, those of you with children anyway. The rest of you will be one day. Or maybe you'll have a sports car instead!
Here are some nice sports cars, look:
Anyway. Question.How do I keep myself and my 18-month toddler entertained, happy and interested when:
1. I have no money
2. I have no car (I can't drive the Land Rover: it has four gearsticks ffs)
3. I have no television (they might be great babysitters, but I hate them so we're not getting one)
4. it is raining and raining and raining and raining and raining outside.
Seriously. I'm bored rigid. Bored to tears. Bored to the point of kicking the furniture in frustration. I can't stand it. I am not the most stimulating or educational company for a little creature that needs to learn. I've forgotten what I'm interested in. I've weaned her and "got my life back" only to find I HAVE no life, my life is just this child. For the first time I realise and feel that you just get one go at life: this is it! All or nothing! It's all out there waiting to be seen and travelled and explored! Nothing like being stuck indoors to really make you see that: too late.
When I got pregnant I thought that here was the ultimate point to life: I am less convinced, now. I don't think the ultimate point to life is playing Peepo and wiping bums. We are trapped indoors by the weather. She makes a mess. I pick it up again. Repeat.
This afternoon we're going to try out a One o'Clock Club in Clapham. I usually recoil at the idea of these things, but it's free. It's for people like me who are bored and broke. It's probably full of competitive Clapham mummies who take life too seriously for me, but at least Esme will get to do something fun, and meet other kids, other kids to turn her attention to instead of hanging off my limbs all the time. I hope I meet cool people who turn into friends, because all my friends with babies live miles away. And they've mostly gone back to work.
I find it hard, this meeting-new-people lark. Really hard. I'm crap at small talk. I'm not a great drinker, and sadly, Going Out Drinking is widely held in our culture to be method #1 for cementing friendships.
You know when someone puts a conspiratorial arm around your shoulder and slurs, "You know what. You and me should go out and get rrreeeeally pissed"? Scares the shit out of me. Run away! Run away now! I don't like to get rreeeaaally pissed, the sort of pissed where you lose things, hit your boyfriend for something that hadn't even occurred to him, throw up in the bath and then lie on the carpet until dawn going "Booohoohoohoohoo." Then you look and feel shit for two days. The appeal escapes me.
Besides, the kind of people that suggest these things often strike me as the ilk one might have to bail out of a police station at 0fuck:00, perhaps following their attempts to pee in a constable's helmet, maybe while it was still on his head.
But there must be some funny, sound new mothers in this bit of London. Every time in the past I've met a woman who has impressed me with her humour, stability, confidence, and complete inability to take herself seriously, I've always thought "I wish I could be good friends with her," and it's always worked out that way. My very best female friends are the coolest, most hilarious, most together women I know. So there's that.
Plus, Esme is a good ambassador for us. She flashes smiles to all and sundry, and runs after other toddlers trying to hold them in a warm embrace that they invariably try to wriggle out of. So I suppose there's that too.
It's useful, this blogging thing: I feel a bit better now. Just like I did after the last post. Sorry I have to go yak yak yak yak at you all just to sort things out in my head. I am well aware of how crap and defeatist I can be. The weather is getting to me. Apparently it might stop next week. Then, suddenly "Where's Esme? Oh! There she is!" will once again seem like the most fascinating game there is, and I will once more have energy and enthusiasm for playing it allllll fucking day.
Nice, isn't it?
68 comments:
Rainy day suggestions from across the pond:
1) Make a fort. Of any kind, using up all possible pillows, sheets, and chairs in the house. Even if it's just to barricade yourself from the boredom.
2) Discover the joy of sweeping. Seriously. Give that kid a broom and let 'er rip.
3) Give her extra baths, but don't forget to stock up on lotion, because she'll turn into a prune.
Rainy day suggestions from accross the pond la duexiemme:
1) turn up the music and dancy dance!
2)make play doh
3)get some finger paints and really big paper (you should have these before it rains) and paint with your toes, and knees, and any thing else that catches your fancy (no I am not insane and yes I really do have kids)
I love your blog and I hate to think of you slowly going insane there. It's been a long time since my daughter was 18 months (about 18 years, in fact), so I Googled "Activities for 18-month old" and found this blog:
http://www.notimeforflashcards.com/
Looks as though she might have some ideas.
Good luck...just wait 18 years and Esme will be wanting to borrow your expensive kitchen equipment. "Mom, you wouldn't mind if I took the Kithenaid mixer off to summer school, would you? I mean, you hardly ever use it..."
These are all brilliant. Thank fuck for you wonderful people.
Give her a magazine to shred and then let Ian clean up the mess.
The library -- lots of free books.
Do you have any of those indoor play parks, like at a mall?
buy a television :)
NOOOOOoooooooo.
You don't have to buy a television to reap the benefits. pbs, nickelodeon and disney all have videos and activities on their websites.
We like to play in the rain here but we're practically in a tropical climate, might not be practical there yet.
Fingerpainting is always good but messy. Mirrors rock for minutes of entertainment. Tupperware as well but you probably know this. Anything fiddly - keys, instruments, gotta spare keyboard laying around? Definitely the extra baths suggestion. Homemade playdough (billion recipes on the internet) is more fun than storebought. Especially when you make it with cornstarch - it has an odd and addictive texture. Good luck, I have felt your pain.
Delurking because I am in that kind of mood today.
I have a 20 month old and the weather has just turned to crap here (Tasmania) so I am in a very similar boat. Also, I never seem to leave the property, probably because there is no where to go.
My current plans of attack are -
Rug up and head outside anyway. Lots of clothes (you need to embrace the zen and ignore the created washing) and hats. Unfortunately Amy seems to think she will melt in the rain. It could be 0 degrees and she would be outside, but rain? NOPE!
I tried cooking with her, but then she tipped an entire bag of flour onto the kitchen floor and I gave up. You could still try cooking, maybe just learn from me and put the flour away already!
Also I was reading Tamesons comment about the painting and I remember being really little and painting all the quilts in the house with my Mum. I mean, what parent doesn't want bum prints on their doona?
Failing that there is always banging your head on the wall.
We like to break the rules and throw balls in the house. Those really cheap, big, plastic-y light weight ones you get at the grocery store. (At least you do here, I don't know where one finds them over there:) Running in the house is great too.
Also, if you need a break from her, try taking an old purse of yours and stocking it full of random, small trinkets that she hasn't seen before. If it has enough pockets and you pack it full enough, you might get a half hour out of the exercise.
I don't think you have a porch, I can't remember, but maybe you have some place to set out a tiny plastic sandbox? Keeping the cats out of it would be an issue, but that's always a winner.
Also, you'd be surprised how much the little ones can do around the house. Like bikini and Veronica said, they can sweep and help in the kitchen. My 2 year old will help me by handing me groceries to put away, by taking laundry from me and putting it in the drier, by tearing up lettuce for salads, and by putting the toys away. Honestly she unhelps as much as she helps, I suppose, but it keeps her busy.
You're so creative, I bet you could think up a project that uses your talents and her energy- something like making an alphabet/story book starring her somehow.
Sooooo, I suppose this means she's ready for a sibling?
is it too late to sell mine & get a sports car?
We did a lot of looking at books at that age, because I can't remember how to "play." (no TV either.)
I just remembered another sanity saver from when my children were small: We listened to music all day long (except during naps). There was always that noise in the background that helped keep me sane. A nice benefit of all that music is that my elementary school age daughters are now fans of Led Zeppelin, Queen, the Police, the Beatles, and more.
Don't worry, once you go play with all the other new kids, she'll get sick and then you'll be busy with both the bums and the snot!
That's where I'm at at the moment. A 10.5 month old who just learned to crawl and walk in the same week, so she's REALLY EXCITED ABOUT IT and also freakin' crabby and blowing yellow globs of snotty crud everywhere. And nothing in the house is interesting unless she's likely to die from it.
Wanna come over?
How about the library? Reading kept me from losing my mind in those early years, and you can hang out in the children's section with Esme.
Another thing you can do is put out a big sheet or something to catch the mess, then let Esme play with rice or birdseed, with cups, spoons, etc.
I second (or third or fourth) the library. Or any really large indoor space. How big is your local Safeway or Tesco? Just go in there and walk around. You'll be out of the rain, there'll be tons of stuff for her to look at and you'll be out of the house for a bit. I think the extra bath thing is as much about splashing in the water as anything else so you could also fill up a big bucket or soup pot with water and give her some floaty toys and maybe some measuring cups or spoons and bowls and let her have a ball. If you can sit nearby you could even get some good writing or reading done while she's at it.
Oh and I agree that music playing at all times is key to the sanity!
Oh, I thought of something else. Though if you're anti-tv (and good for you), may not like this. But there is computer software for little 'uns. I think Rachel started learning how to use the computer about that age. She had a silly program that wasn't trying to teach her anything...I think it was animals in an amusement park. There may have been an alphabet game, too, come to think of it.
Anyway, pulling something special like that out on rainy days might buy you a little breathing space.
And then there's always gin. For you or her...I remember a friend describing these wonderful Sundays he had with his dad when he was small. His mom would go out and his dad would get a beer and the paper and let Shep have little sips of beer while he read the comics to him. Shep said he was twenty or so when he realized that his dad did that because Shep would fall asleep because of the beer and be out for a good chunk of the day. Ah, parental abuse.
This is no help, but i remember hanging out with lots of INCREDIBLY BORING women when my child was this age. They didn't want to get pissed, all they wanted to do was tell me how great their kid was.
I too wondered where all the smart, funny, creative women were. I guess they were at work or had nannies or whatever. But they were not where i was, at the free library reading time of the cooperative pre-school.
xxoo
Oh, yikes. I think the best way to stay sane is to say/think to yourself, "The season will end, the daughter will grow older" over and over. Because all things do finally change. I think I repeated the same thing to myself about 350 times between November and April this year, during what I call the Season of the Plagues here in Northern California.
It may be a little optimistic and earnest for your current mood, but this site has some good suggestions, many of which apply past the first-year-of-life time frame.
I can't suggest the library quickly enough. Go forth! It's free and educational - what could be better?
And while I was very wary of playgroups at first, they came to be my favorite things. Chances are, you'll find at least one person that you can rub along with nicely. And even if you don't stick with the group, you can have playdates at each other's houses. And you can use your wonderful coffee maker!
When I lived in central NY, we had huge indoor malls, where I could take my little one and at least walk him around the mall in his stroller. Here in CT, not so much.
Also, stock up on crayons and coloring books. It's never too early to practice fine motor skills!
Delurking from Sevenoaks to say omg this freaking rain will be the death of us all!! Definitely feeling it here, home all day with a 17-mo-old. Lots of good advice above, and I especially can second the effectiveness of the "this too shall pass" mantra. Much easier this time around (also have a 7-yr-old) because he is living evidence that they're not this age forever (wonderful though it can be at times).
Don't let anyone try to tell you that bum-wiping is the meaning of life- it's just a means to an end: a kid who one day will grow up and remind you why it all seemed like such a great idea, better even than a sports car.
Until that day comes...the water play, play-doh and finger paint are big favorites here. We also do an edible play doh- peanut butter, honey and powdered milk. Smells great. But obviously no good if allergies are a concern. You can also add a pack of sugar-free jelly powder to one of the standard play-doh recipes, again with the nice smell, kids love it. Messy play rules, just remember the tarp or similar.
Love your blog, hang in there. It's bound to stop raining sometime...right??
Go to as many of those mom and tot things that you can find until you find your mother-of-toddler friend. (I suppose you might find a stay at home dad, but they aren't thick on the ground.)All you need is one friend, and the company will save your sanity. I found that the most important thing to me was NOT finding a friend like my other friends, but finding someone whom I liked, and that I liked the way she interacted with her kid and my kid. That, and an interest in no-money-fun.
All of the ideas suggested, playdoh, painting, etc. are way more fun if there are 2 adults and 2 children. The computer isn't so much fun for 2 kids. If it's just you and Esme, pack the bags and get out. Seattle has a lot of rainy days, and until I made friends, when my oldest kid was that 1 or so, I went to ... the mall, someplace I normally never went. It was covered, and he could run for quite a ways. He was small enough that he didn't understand purchasing, and it gave him somewhere dry to run.
But I cannot emphasize enough, the sanity saver will be another adult, and you will not find her in your house. Get out and get looking.
I absolutely agree that another mom/parent will be to your benefit. I loathed the mom and tot things, but I went because NO ONE I knew had a baby. I found 3 friends (after a good deal of searching) and 11 years on, I'm still friends with one of them.
I also heartily recommend painting and coloring and forts. And if it's not too cold, there is nothing more fun than running around in the rain and then jumping into a warm tub.
Also good? Washable markers that you and your daughter can color ON each other with. Always good for a laugh.
Take two plastic bowls, put some dry rice in one, and let her transfer it to the other using a measuring cup or similar scoopy thing.
The online version of Parenting Magazine has a section devoted to activities and games for small children. Here's one suggestion.
Good luck! You have my deepest sympathies.
I always think having a project is great when it's rainy. I tend to get quite low when it's raining and grey so I speak from personal experience.
How about this for an idea. Maybe we would like to see you and Esme at the beach?
You would need a kind of blue wall area with a large comedy cut out of paper sun on it. Maybe some drawn seagulls flapping about. Something representing a windbreak (an actual windbreak works well here). A blanket. Something to be sand maybe some yellow paper. And lots of standard lamps pointing at the area making it bright and sunny.
If you can film the whole thing stop frame style all the better. But even just a picture would be something.
If you can get Ian to dress up in a strong man suit and hold fake dumbells then alls the better!
Good luck!
Buy something large on the internet.
Keep the giant box it came in.
Cut a door in one side and a window in the other.
Place Esme inside with raisins/milk.
Leave for one day.
Certainly worked for Freyja; we forgot she was there and went to Brighton for the weekend (note to Social Services: this am a joke)
And don't forget Solveig is back here on maternity leave...
Happy to meet up at the Horniman one day to look at the fish and laugh at the walrus if you like...!
S x
Laughing at a walrus has got to be good for the spirits!
My son liked trains, so I would take him on the Metro for rides. He would oooh and aaah over the most mundane things (parking lots, construction holes, etc.). I guess it wouldn't be as exciting in London where it is all underground. We also did tons of museums. I'd look at the artifacts, my son would just smile at the people. At least it got me out of the house. I also second the suggestion of getting bundled up and going out in the rain. Clothes can get washed and bodies can get warmed up in a nice bath -- go splash in puddles, race sticks down the running water, make mud pies...
- A huge box is a great idea.
- Also, just going out -- to the library, down the street, anywhere. Going on the bus might be fun.
- Having some little errand most days is what kept me sane, even if it was just walking up the street to buy milk.
- Baking is also fine, as long as you don't really care what it turns out like.
- In consolation, I do think 18 months is the absolute height of cuteness, so you can enjoy that.
- Is there an aquarium nearby? Or even a pet store? Some kind of kid museum? Those are all good events.
-Don't dispair. It goes by very quickly, and then when they're 18 and go off to college you can realize that you really have no idea what you're going to do next. But by then you'll be old and tired, and won't care. (Maybe.)
I have yet to remember to do this with mine, but it was always a hit at the daycare I worked at for a summer. Clear a room, give her plenty of room to run and be crazy. Give her two rolls of toilet paper and let her tp the living room (or her own room, or whatever). It's a bit of a mess to clean up, but they love it, and it's not as bad as some messes I've had to clean so far.
Does your library do a story time for toddlers? I tried that for a while, but Ashton (my 18 month old) wanted nothing but to play with the computers.
Don't know if this helps. Good luck! And if you come up with anything brilliant let me know!
I'm planning on driving to Caroline's on Friday - do you fancy coming? You and Esme would be doing me a huge favour by saving my sanity in case we get stuck in traffic and Lola decides to wail...
xx
"I don't think the ultimate point to life is playing Peepo and wiping bums."
Global religions have been based on much less you know. Hundreds of years of culture, philosophy and war; all just 'hiding and shit'.
Just a thought :)
Okay, okay, first of all, no surprise: I. Love. You.! Seriously wish you lived closer because you make me laugh, cry...and all that just from one read...
Anyway, enough sissy emotion...
I have advice as a mother and teacher (!aaaahhooo! Two for one! Lucky you! Haha!):
I am sure you do this...but...
Here's some ideas:
Dancing to music
Yoga for kids (seriously, there's such a thing)
Arts and crafts (beading - block beads...nothing she can fit in her mouth, painting, crayon colouring - download freebies to colour from this here internet thingy)
Read to her! I am sure you do...
Teach her basic letter sounds through repetition...c is for coffee...ccc cough cough cough coffee...(next teach her to make coffee...even better...)
Count everything!
Playgroups - join one or form one, once you have some cool moms/mums to hang with.
I started my children off on "Educational/Entertaining" computer games at that age...there are some really good CD's out there...and you can borrow them from friends, the library or find them cheap at second hand shops or rummage sales. Just a thought.
Rain sucks. I know. It will get better. Trust me. :)
Currently have 19 year old daughter and boyfriend in our house following their return from university. Am trying to get work done (yes, yes AND catch up on blog reading) but they apparently still need help locating shoes and seeing where the milk is in the fridge. (This in spite of the fact that the milk is helpfully located in a carton that says "MILK" on the side). Also they slept until 11:30 then had "breakfast" then said they would help me by weeding (at which point I had to stop work to help them locate weeding supplies and show them what a weed looked like). They've apparently forgotten about weeds since last summer. Luckily summer jobs start soon.
My point: it doesn't end. Will trade you 3 sullen teenagers (17 year old son, 19 year old daughter and boyfriend) for one smiling little cherub.
On a more helpful note: when the kids were small there was a neighbourhood babysitting coop. Small group of like-minded and equally desperate mothers that took turns babysitting for free. For awhile I had a thing going with another Mom where we would get alternate Weds off for the day eg - she would have my 2 along with her 2 while I got to go be an adult and the following Weds I would have the four kids while she had a day off. Remember - it does take a village to raise a child and you were never meant to happily mother in isolation.
Also - audio books and stories (can usually borrow from library) are good for quiet times so you don't have to read the same book out loud 400 times in a row.
Sally
No kids of my own yet, but I spent six years nannying during college, most of it the baby to preschool years. It's fun, but man do I not miss the rainy day doldrums when I was in a funk.
1. Texture play is a lot of fun--rice, dried beans, lentils, polenta. Buckets and bowls and scoops and sieves. Bury little objects. It's messy, yes, but sweeps up easily. Mostly-naked finger painting.
2. The edible peanut butter, honey, and powdered milk dough is fun and tasty.
3. Dancing to music is great for feeling less cooped-up and burning off energy.
4. You can plant flower seeds in little pots or the biodegradable sort of egg cartons.
5. Blanket forts rock and make the same old games seem much more exciting.
If she's more quiet and focused, the library or bookstore story hour is fun, but can be stressful if she's an active girl. A playdate friend is well-worth the effort spent finding one.
Don't underestimate the power of crayolas and scrap paper.
Blow bubbles!! My 15 month old loves to blow bubbles, or would if she could - she just eats them now, but they keep her pretty entertained. I second the big box idea and multiple baths, as well as going out to a store for the sake of getting out of the house. We also walk around the house about 6 times a day and that seems to do us both good.
I know how bad serious rain can be, but you'll feel better soon!
Raingear? Go for a walk?
I have no idea how to make friends, having none myself, but inside in the rain with the kid I know alll about. We do lots of painting (finger paint is messy but can waste tons of time, and then you can have long baths afterward - we put in a few drops of food coloring to add to the fun). Playdough is always good, too, though I hate the way it makes my hands smell. And puppet shows. I also found out that if you move your couch, it is utterly thrilling. Seriously. Something about displaced furniture makes kids really, really happy. OH, and go jump in puddles. It really is fun and then - more baths! More wasted time in the bath! And after snuggle up with stacks of books and have storytime. Maybe she'll even fall asleep...
Excellent suggestions by all to keep Esme happy, but you are craving adult interaction. A playgroup is your best bet. You can make it week to week if you know one day a week you can talk with adults, even if it is about kids! Also you need 1 night a week without kid. If you and Ian cannot go out, then leave Ian with Esme and go bowling (or whatever the UK equivalent is). I hardly ever bowled before kids and have not really bowled since they were toddlers, but the bowling leaque saved my sanity once a week when they were small. Make it something that has comittment attached so you can't say to yourself "Esme needs me tonight, Ian needs me tonight, I'm too tired tonight, I can't go. If the "team" needs you, then you go and you feel so much better to face the rest of the week with a toddler.
I'll admit that when my twins were 18 months old, I could have written this post (except about the snow because I live in Canada). This age is hard because they're beyond the truly baby things but not quite able to do a lot of things. I haven't read all 40 comments so I may repeat things. In no particular order, my ideas are:
1. Play dough--make it yourself with her help. This takes time and is fun.
2. Finger painting. My kids hated the idea of getting their hands messy (wish that had continued!) but my friends swear by it.
3. Forts
4. Stamping...use homemade or store-bought "stamps" (you know, cut out of potatoes or apples or some such) with paint
5. Make shakers. Put rice, beans, lentils, food colouring in an empty plastic bottle or between two paper plates. Tape/glue/generally stick together. Decorate. Play.
6. Pots and pans...as musical instruments. Loud but fun for the younger crowd.
7. Water play.
8. Sand play...can use rice, beans, etc. in a large tub/bowl or some sort.
9. Dust the house, sweep...all those hideous chores that children love to do at this age.
Also, I know it's raining. But she'd probably love to get outside and stomp in puddles and get wet. Somewhat less fun for you, but it'll keep her amused and, with some luck, make her ready for nap or bedtime.
God, I better stop now. Can you tell that I've been at home with my children for almost 7 years? I'll go now. Quietly.
I'm just back, pinching all the ideas that other people left.
Amy has decided that today is a naked day and refuses to get dressed. Would be okay if it was warm outside, but it isn't.
So am stuck inside going insane. Need to put music on and break out the colouring books I think. TG for naps.
I second (or twelfth) the suggestion to hit the library. There's a wealth of entertainment value in the kids' section. Also very helpful is the repeating to oneself 200 times a day, "She won't be this age forever, she won't be this age forever."
But one thing that no one's mentioned so far that I found completely indispensable when my kids were that age is the fantabulous Magna-Doodle. There's so many games you can play with one -- I used mine to teach my kids their numbers and alphabets and how to draw a gazillion simple objects, or I'd just hand it to them and let them draw picture after picture after picture with no mess, no paper and no cleanup. That no cleanup thing gets to be a pretty big bonus at the toddler stage. You totally need a Magna-Doodle!
you sound exactly like I did last year when it wouldn't stop raining and Doug was having to work every single day; I was really down, it all felt so relentless. I even posted a blog post similar to this one, just without the cars :)
anyway, a few suggestions.
Mostly, get out of the house. Take advantage of your friends that are on maternity leave and go visit. Just get out of the house, even if its raining (and Esme won't care, going on the bus will be an adventure).
have a look at the noticeboards of the local churches - most of them run mother/toddler clubs that will be v cheap and on the whole, they don't try persuading you to come to church or start speaking in tongues etc. Take it from me, I go to toddler groups all the time and you only have to be as friendly as you feel like.
get up to the museums in south ken - they're free.
invest in a "London on the cheap" guidebook or see if the NCT do a "Kid Friendly London" book - they do one for York/N Yorks and its been a lifeline. In fact, the health visitor recommended to me when we first moved up here. Best bit of advice she's given me!
at the weekend, leave Esme with Ian and get some serious "me" time in. This is really important. Get out of the house and do something, even if its just sitting in Starbucks all day reading and sipping coffee. Otherwise, you'll go really mad, honest.
Lastly, I think all the ideas above are really good - the one about the internet is true as Jacob loves CBeebies website and Playhouse Disney etc. Having a project is good too - maybe making a start on that bonkbuster novel you were thinking about writing.
And remember, you can always come up to York for a few days and get away from it all. Half term is coming up, so if you want a proper break, we will be around.
So many great suggestions! Mine would be to actually get out in that rain - put on raincoats and gumboots (actually gumboots are optional depending on how warm it is) and get out there. Stomping in puddles can occupy _hours_, watching things floating past in the gutter, watching the water go down the drain, rescuing earthworms, stomping in puddles, more stomping in puddles. Find deeper puddles, throw rocks in puddles, stomp in puddles. You get the picture.
Painting is also great, although you do have to be in a certain frame of mind (not stressed or short-tempered). Playdough, especially if you can get some of those really cheap extruders that make long ribbons/worms etc. Also need to be in the mood to tolerate eating of playdough no matter how often you say not to though ;)
Youtube is an endless source of short, kid friendly animation and videos of cute kittens and puppies. You can make Esme watch clips of the Wombles or Muppets. This might skate too close to tv for you though. But still, puppies! kittens! puppies and kittens together!
I remember these days. The 18 month old just has so short an attention span, and the few things they have a long attention span for are soooo boring.
We went out every day no matter what: snow, rain, floods, fever. Fresh air is an unqualified good. Umbrellas, boots and raincoats are your friend. A tarp over the backyard isn't a bad idea either (we luckily had a porch). Where is the nearest playground? Take a towel to dry the slide if you go.
Blocks.
The sandbox in the dining room was a lifesaver. We used a flat plastic container, like an underbed sweater box, with play sand, and set it on a plastic flannel backed tablecloth with the flannel side up to keep the sand from travelling away when it spilled. Add measuring cups and funnels and spoons and little plastic people and animals = hours of play, much of it alone.
I tried and tried to find fun moms in my neighborhood, but did not. Sometimes I could get together with away friends, which was great for me, though stressful for the only child. I'd keep trying. Who takes their kids to the library story time?
Do you have a thrift store handy? Stock up on feathery boas, funny hats and purses. Throw them all in a box and let Esme play dress up.
The fort idea is always a winner in my house as well. Throw a couple of sheets over a table big enough for her to sit under. Give her a flashlight and a few stuffed animals, maybe a small tea set, a small blanket and pillow. Hours of enjoyment. At naptime, just switch off all the lights in the room.
Have you thought of starting a play group? Throw a note up here and there for moms with children Esme's age to call you and get everyone together. The kids are really too young to play with each other as much as play near each other, but it gets them a little early socialization, and you might meet some really nice (new) women.
One last idea, though it only works on nice days (because you so don't want to do it in the house!). Cover the side of the shed or fence with paper and let her finger paint the whole mess (or use crayons).
I haven't finished reading all 47! comments yet, so sorry if I'm repeating things. Create some fun while it rains, and know that soon it will stop raining long enough to get outside to a park. Stalk the cool Moms. And don't forget Dads! There are some nice Dads out there staying home, too. Anyway, make it your mission to meet them, make playdates with them, exchange phone numbers with them. Because they, too, are also going insane and need some company.
See if there are any internet message boards for your neighborhood to find playgroups, or start your own. You will meet loads of people you don't like, but it is worth it to find just a few parenting soulmates. And soon you will be trading babysitting with these people. Visualize taking Esme to her new friend's flat and you getting 2 hours to yourself.
peevish has one point that is absolutely crucial (and lots of other good ones too of course) which is effectively, "everyone else feels like this".
Everyone gets intimdated by what they perceve as others success. Remember not only does everyone feel like this, but not everyone realises immediately that you feel like this.
That's the combination that helps create new relationships - I think.
I know exactly that feeling, or at least, my version of it. And I was dreadfully disappointed in the mums of my son's contemporaries, at first. I eventually found out some decent ones, even a good friend among them, but it took a little time.
It's dreadfully boring all the
while it is lovely watching the little one acquire humanity, and you have my sympathies, which is as much as I can offer from across the pond. I would come right over with hand me down board books and some mango tea if I lived anywhere near you. The boredom is why I started up with the blogs in the first place, and now that Will is 6, he has ideas himself for those rainy days. But here are some of my not so long ago favorites.
We used to have a big tub full of rice, (two big sacks worth I think) and I buried things in it. Will played with that for hours on a blanket that made the spillage easy enough to dump back in when we were done.
We took a lot of baths, blew bubbles indoors (as long as it was in the bathtub), and had a number of unconventional bath toys, like wine corks, food storage containers with the lids on (to float) and off (to do chemistry), and plastic animals.
We made books: I cut newspaper into page sizes, stapled them together, and we cut up magazines and used markers to draw, stickers (the charities in the states send out loads of return address stickers, and they all have little pictures at the ends which I would cut off for crafts) and cut outs with a glue stick to decorate the pages.
She might be young for this yet, but who am I to say that your daughter isn't a crafting prodigy?
Baking was an early joy for us: I would measure, he would dump.
We counted trucks that went by out the window. We have a nice window seat that faces the street, and we would look for red cars, or big trucks, or people walking dogs. It wasn't very exciting, but it was something to do, and it reminded me that there was a world out there.
Hope the One O'Clock Club was friendly. I used to live in Brixton six years ago when my eldest was one and went to a toddler group in Brockwell Park which was okay - probably a bit more down to earth than Clapham!
Baby music is a laugh - there was one at the Lido in Brockwell Park that was fab, even for little ones - lots of puppets, dancing, costumes etc. V nice friendly mums too.
Tumble Tots
Soft play centres
Go swimming - the pool in Battersea (I think!) has a good shallow bit
Make biscuits
But yes, above all, get out the house.
Good luck. It'll be spring, proper, soon and the parks/playgrounds will be full of friendly mums.
I've been there- bored to tears with everything and anything to do with children. I got a bit of whipped cream in a can (after a really really stupid attempt at doing this with shaving cream in a can and my son ate the stupid stuff and puked everywhere) add a few drops of food coloring mix- i just grab a few of the kid bowls-chuck the kid in the high chair with the tray- give them the bowls of 'paint' and a cookie sheet and tell them to go to town. Usually good for a good while and then they eat the cream so clean up is really no more difficult than cleaning up the kid post meal.
I also go to all the free toddler classes I can find in the area- so the reading hour at the library, the playground park (and no one talks to me mostly because they are all nannies but I could give a flying fig because I bring a book and look up every minute to make sure my child isn't trying to kill another child or run off the grounds- mines 3 now so he's a bit more independent than 18mos.
If I have to get out of the house and it's crappy weather I will sometimes chuck him in the stroller with the rain cover and take him to the nearest mall and let him run up and down while I get to have a look round. Museums on free days. Bookstores and places like Pottery Barn Kids have weekly reading groups for toddlers too.
Someone in our neighborhood was giving away a toddler slide, kitchen and 'garden' that we brought home and stuck in the attic playroom- have saved my life during rainy days. You could look at the local kids shops or boot sales or the equal. of freecycle to find some.
Is she still napping? I live for nap time. I really really do. Hang in there.
I wish I had some good ideas on what you could do but rainy days and being stuck inside drives me crazy too. My mantra is "this too shall pass..." it helps me.
Make a fort out of the couch cushions and blankets.
Then hide in it.
Being a mom is lovely, but I do not think it's _the_ point for me either. Though I understand why people find it so fulfilling, none of my girlfriends are the types to identify as moms above all else. I know almost no one else who has kids and lives nearby, and it's beginning to wear on me as well.
As you noted, your life is not narrowing to a pinpoint, you're just having a bad week. Lovely life, bad week. While you're locked inside, make some home movies for us with Esme. Spend a great deal of time on the costumes and make it a musical, please. And thank you.
I went the sports car route.
Yet another "me too" over here - could SO have written your post. Especially last summer when we moved from Seattle to Dublin, where we knew not a soul and I was entertaining an 18-month old in the constant rain. We'd go to the park and if it rained 10 minutes after we got there, on with the raincover and home we'd trudge.
This is horribly un-English, but I got quite good at approaching random, like-minded looking strangers in parks (ones with kids, generally speaking), at library playgroups, the like, and asking if they fancied meeting for coffee. Generally speaking, the women at those things are there because they, too, are wondering what the hell to do with their kids so you could well meet some nice people.
This is going to sound unbelievably downbeat after all the fab positive comments you've had so far, but I reckon it's actually OK to be miserable for a bit. In my initial Dublin-trudging days, I'd definitely just bawl whilst trudging. It got it out of my system, and even if I didn't feel any better, I wasn't about to feel any worse.
And - I don't know if I've missed this somewhere - is going back to work (if even part-time) an option? I love my kids all the more for not spending 24 hours a day with them.
Anyway, enough random advice from a random internet stranger. At least you write about it beautifully, if that's any consolation at all...
If you get desperate, come round here so Esme can watch Cbeebies.
I am also at home, reeeally bored and don't even have Esme for entertainment.
But I do have a car, and the Carnegie library opposite and a nice park....
Esme could probaby help me with the bastard online numeracy tests I am having to do in order to find employment. She'd definitely be better than me.
I'm quasi-agoraphobic, so the mommy-and-me things make my skin crawl. However, I've discovered that certain group things let you control how much adult interaction you get while allowing the wee'uns to have a ball. Swim lessons are GREAT for this. Of course, you have to get in the pool and get wet, too, but she'll have a blast and you can make as much or as little eye contact with others as you like, under the rubric of "watching my darling child." Baby gymnastics classes usually work the same way. Public play spaces are a bit more complicated with toddlers, because you have to watch them (and the children they play with) VERY closely, but if you find one that caters to kids Esme's age, it is wonderful. And the at-home fort idea is a great one. Good Luck.
59 comments! Fuuuuuuck me! No way I can read them all, but hey.
I was going to post my own advice, but you've had loads. Hope some of it rings a bell.
Listen: Butt wiping is not any fun. If it was fun for you I'd probably not be reading your blog because I would think you were creepy.
Here's my advice:
Visit this site: http://noblepig.com/2008/04/23/get-your-fat-pants-outyou-might-need-them.aspx
Make the marshmallow bannana sandwich and then lob it at someone.
You've got lots of great suggestions, but I thought I'd add mine anyway - Podcasts.
I am raising my 14 month old without the aid of television too, but sometimes, just sometimes, walking up and down the stairs with my hand hovering behind her back to prevent falls gets just a bit tedious.
So I download episodes of This American Life, or Dan Savage's Savage Lovecast and then I have something interesting and fun to listen to while still being available to wander around behind my daughter and endlessly pick up the things she likes to drop over the banisters.
Wow! That's exactly how I feel at the moment, well, actually not today cause it's sunny out, but most of last week. Our girls also share the same birthday, but we're trapped up on the other side of the river in NE London.
We got rid of our TV in January after hearing horror stories of little ones hugging the set after teletubbies. Life without tv is really great.
Of course, televisions these days come equipped with an [OFF] switch, or so I hear.
And anyway, I really like '64 Zoo Lane'...
In the rain? Puddle jumping. And then: "Here's how we do the laundry, sweetie. You can do it by yourself next time."
Or you can make the bananna marshmallow sandwich and eat it and reflect on how mcuh better you felt before you ate it.
Keri, where in NE London? I go up to Highbury, Stoke Newington, or Dalston a lot. Usually every week. If you're nearby and want to do coffee in a park and let the babies poke each other, let me know. If it's not too stalkerish of me to say so, of course.
Antonia - edible finger paint in the bath! You can also stain her skin and make her look tattooed for your own enjoyment.
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